Alpha Mom: kids

TOLD YA I LOVE IT!

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 16:56:15 GMT

Overheard...

GENEVIEVE: Oh no! I got a grass stain on my pants!

MAKENZIE: It's OK, Nevie, Mom can just steam it out in her new washer.

WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT ME?

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 23:36:19 GMT

Scene: Giovanni sitting on my lap at Nevie's graduation. He grabbed my hand and started doing "Piggies", with just the right sing-song rhythm...

"This little piggy go Target."

"And this little piggy go WEE WEE WEE WEE...all the way home."

"Mommy, we go Target now?"

(Must be those Target Dog cookies...)

INTERESTING STRATEGY...WE'LL SEE HOW IT PLAYS OUT

Wed, 28 May 2008 17:37:47 GMT

Giovanni informed me on Sunday that he was going to wear big boy underwear. This is because he heard me tell Lamar that Logan, our nephew, is wearing underwear. Van is totally fascinated with Logan. Logan is totally fascinated with Malakai. That does not phase Van in his affections for "my fend Wogan."

Kenz was barely two when she wanted to go on the potty. I held her off until Genevieve was born because I had heard she might regress, and I did not want to deal with it. She wore pull ups successfully for a couple days, switched to panties and never went back. So I thought that was how they would all be. WRONG.

I decided it was time for Nevie to be potty trained when she started to close in on her third birthday. She had other ideas. She had been pooping on the potty for several weeks so I assumed that the pee was a matter of will. WRONG. I bribed her, threatened her, rewarded her, praised her, promised her...no luck. She was closing in on her fourth birthday by the time it clicked for her. She decided it was time, put on panties and never looked back.

After being mad at Nevie for like 6 months, I realized that I could not make her do it. So I waited for Malakai to decide and then followed his lead. He was also closing in on his fourth birthday when it clicked for him. It helped when he figured out he could pee in the yard. This backfired when he thought the playground at school was the same as the yard at home. Oops.

Giovanni is two and a half. He has had two days in pull-ups so far. The first day he wet it once. We did a bunch of running around in the morning and he managed to hold it when he needed to, and tell us when it was time. Later in the evening, he was outside playing, and we were not reminding him at all...hence the pee in the pull-up. To be honest, I thought he would lose interest so I was not putting my heart into it. The next day, he was dry ALL day. And he pooped in the potty. That means that yesterday I did not change one diaper. That is the first time (aside from my annual three days a year away from my kids) that has happened in eight and a half years! WOW!

I had told him that if he stayed dry for a whole day, he would get a scoop of ice cream after dinner and would be able to wear big boy underwear the next day. He had ice cream last night. I tried to put a pull-up on him for drop off at school this morning, but he reminded me what I had said, and a deal's a deal, so he wore big boy underwear when we took the girls to school this morning. I did have to change them once because he waited too long, but since reminding him that boys who have no accidents get ice cream, he has been successful.

Next week I am going to tell him that Logan makes his own bed every day...

FIVE FOR FIGHTING

Tue, 27 May 2008 17:36:41 GMT

I am currently in my house with four boys under the age of five. I think I might be a crazy person. Or maybe I will be by the end of the day. Nevie has her field trip today to the Seattle Children's Theater to see Busytown. She is very excited because she gets to wear chapel clothes and ride on the bus and eat a sack lunch. Rather than drag my two boys along, I traded a kid with another mom in the class. So she has my Nevie and I have her 4 year old who is friends with Malakai. Add to that the fact that another friend had to go out of town for some family stuff and needed me to watch her four year old today.

I picked up Noah before school this morning and had the "come-to-Jesus" talk with him and Malakai before we even picked up Gage. I am totally the mean mom of the bunch. But I think that is because I have four kids, and the other moms have two. If two kids gang up on you, you could totally take them. But if you have a mutiny with four kids, you had better watch out. So I decided to start out tough so that I can let out the reins as the day goes on. I told all four of them on the way back to our house from school that ANYONE WHO STARTS A FIGHT WILL GET AN IMMEDIATE FIVE MINUTE TIME-OUT at the kitchen table while the other two play without the instigator. (This is where the baby monitor in the bonus room comes in handy.)

Noah and Malakai got a time out before we even got to the van in the school parking lot. There have been four more so far. We are less than two hours into the day. Might not get to let those reins out after all.

HE'S A ROCK STAR PUKER...

Sat, 10 May 2008 02:17:43 GMT

My baby is sick. I know, he is too old for me to call my baby. Shut up and stop judging me. I still refer to my 28 year old brother as my baby brother, so I guess old habits die hard. Anyway, my baby is sick. We woke up in the wee hours this morning to Malakai yelling "DAD!DAD!DAD!DAD!DAAAADDDD!!!!" There was barf everywhere in Giovanni's crib. (OK, again, stop judging. Moving the boys into their new bunk beds was literally on this weekend's agenda.) So...barf in the crib. Lamar has the higher barf tolerance, so he stripped Van down and changed his jammies while I changed the sheets. I tried to rinse the barf off into the laundry sink, but was too busy dry-heaving to make much progress. Lamar finished getting the worst of it off and then I put them in the washer. Incidentally, I used the steam cycle on my new washer, which is good for removing "organic stains."

The boys got settled back into their beds, with a Veggie Tales CD playing, quilts surrounding the crib in case of a projectile vomit, and the "barf bowl" in the bed with Giovanni. We told him...If you have any more barf, get it in the bowl like a big boy. He barfed two more times in the next hour, and to my shock, both times it was ALL in the bowl. No jammie change even needed! He spent most of today in his bed with the portable DVD player. That was mostly his choice. It worked out well for us because we were able to get all traces of food cleaned up before he came downstairs.

So now we are about 20 hours past the last puke and he seems to be over the worst. He is having other gastrointestinal issues, so whatever he eats goes right through him. But I hate nasty diapers less than I hate barf, so I am thanking God for that small mercy.

Tonight we will place a barf bowl near each kid, just to be on the safe side!

Happy even when he is sick!

Watching Shark Tale for the 700th time

THAT'S TOTALLY BETTER THAN A SUGAR DADDY!

Wed, 07 May 2008 01:11:11 GMT

Scene: The six of us around the dinner table, talking about who is so-and-so's dad and who is so-and-so's mom .

ME: Hey, Van, who is Logan's mommy?

GIOVANNI: Auntie Shannon.

ME: That is right! Who is my mommy?

GIOVANNI: Ummmmm....Meemaw!

ME: Right again! Who is my daddy?

GIOVANNI: DADDY! (pointing at Lamar)

ME: Oh, is he my sugar daddy?

GIOVANNI: No, he you yogurt daddy!

HEADWOUND HARRY

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 05:17:57 GMT

In the middle of January, Makenzie was opening the blinds in her room and they fell down. Onto her head. She freaked out. Like FREAKED. OUT. A few hours later we were at the pediatricians office and we left with her head taped and glued. (As a side note, the doctor said that tape and glue is the preferred method for closing wounds that are not under any tension. Plus, no train track scars.) It was totally minor...like 3/4 inch long right on her hairline. The tape and glue are all gone and the pinkness of the wound is already fading. This was our first trip to the doctor for anything remotely close to an emergency. Considering she is the oldest of four and just turned eight, I thought we were doing pretty good.

Fast forward to this Tuesday. I was upstairs doing laundry. Because I am always upstairs doing laundry. I heard the kind of cry that told me something was really wrong, way beyond toy thievery. I was running downstairs with the words "You're okay" already forming on my lips, only to be interrupted by a bigger cry from Nevie..."MOM, GIOVANNI'S HEAD IS BLEEEEEDIIIIIING!" Within an hour, we were at the doctor's office again, getting glued together again. When the pediatrician walked in, he said "Good Lord, woman, what are you doing in here again?" Clearly, with four kids, we have become friendly and he was just teasing, so I am not worried about a visit from CPS. But Giovanni was a total rock star. He did not even cry when they were scrubbing his wound, which frankly made me a little gaggy.

His gash is a little over an inch, and thankfully not all the way to the bone. If you ask him how he got hurt, he will tell you "copy tay-bow". Still not exactly sure how he did it, but I have some theories. The only thing I am sure of is the coffee table was involved.

In between those two visits, Nevie was in for a weird rash. At least that did not need glue or tape. Although, they did recommend covering the little sores with tiny bits of duct tape...

Giovanni in simpler times, next to the coffee table in question.

EVEN MY FOUR YEAR OLD JUDGES ME

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 04:41:25 GMT

Scene: Me doing girly style push-ups on the floor.

MALAKAI: Mom, what you doing?

ME: Push-ups, baby.

MALAKAI: Why?

ME: So I can be stronger.

MALAKAI: Why you legs up?

ME: Because that is the only way that Mommy can do them right now.

MALAKAI: That's not how Peepaw does it. You legs need be down. You not strong.

CUPCAKES AND MONSTER TRUCKS

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 05:00:52 GMT

My Malakai is totally obsessed with monster trucks. He has always loved Hummers and has been able to tell one from a Jeep since he was about two. (His sisters still have a hard time with this.) Then he saw the Discovery Kid's show "Meteor and the Mighty Monster Trucks". It was all over after that. My mom has a lifted Tahoe and he now refers to that as "Meemaw's monster truck". The thrill of his little heart is when he sees a LIFTED Hummer.

We had an early birthday dinner with all the "aunties" and "uncles" my kids have adopted over the years. The only theme Malakai would even consider for this party was monster trucks. Let me tell you that there is about ONE set of party goods with a monster truck. It is basically all Grave Digger. And I could only find it at one place online. And it was not cheap. And he "not wike dat one." So I tried to find regular trucks. Nope. There are all sorts of fire trucks and dump trucks and race cars and hot wheels and Disney Cars. But no trucks. Plus, how am I going to decorate each of his cupcakes with a monster truck?

Walking through the grocery store, I found a whole display of monster truck hot wheels. Thank you Lord! I bought a couple of them, let the idea cook in my brain for a week or so and came up with these:

The rest of the stuff was just generic black, red, and white with gauges and checkered flags. I knew he loved the trucks when I found this on the coffee table later that night...

I thought his head was going to explode when I showed him some YouTube videos of monster truck rallies, especially the ones that starred the trucks from his party. Now he busily sets up monster truck runs with the little cars and jumps and everything. His Bigfoot DVD arrived the other day. Maybe I should make him wear a helmet to watch it...

Just Bragging...

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 01:27:48 GMT

Today my 2 year old pointed out the letter "H" and said..."Mommy, see H?" Then made the H sound! After that, he peed in the potty. At the grocery store. I think that might be a light at the end of the tunnel...hopefully it is not a train.

Put on some pants

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 01:08:25 GMT

Sometimes I am shocked by the things that come out of my mouth. Not because the words are foul or because the sentences are poorly formed, although both scenarios are known to happen. Today I told my almost-four year old to "Put on some pants!" This is not a new requirement. We generally wear some sort of bottoms at all time in this house. One time I was forced to say "We do not pretend-bite people." If I ask any of the three older kids "What goes in our mouth?" They will answer "Only food." The question "Where do we put stickers?" elicits the response "Only on people or paper." I have to remind my kids to eat their breakfast. Every morning. More than once during the meal. I just had to interrupt my blogging to tell my seven year old..."Don't say things that are not true." I am hoping that at some point it will click and they will get their a-ha moment. Until then, if you overhear someone in the grocery store asking their kid..."Are you new here?"...it might be me.

He thinks he can dance

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 19:56:22 GMT

Scene: Nevie and Van eating lunch, Malakai spinning on his stomach on the hardwood.

MALAKAI: Look at me Nevie...I'm dancing!

NEVIE: That is hip-hop style, Malakai.

MALAKAI: I know, it's my favorite.

There may be too much Nigel Lythgoe in our lives.

Does parenting = insanity?

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 15:13:51 GMT

Albert Einstein is credited with the quote: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." I find it interesting that he had this insight into parenting, even though he had no children. My boys are 20 months apart. Giovanni (the baby) is now 23 months old. For the first 22 months of his life all I heard Malakai say to him was, "NO, BABY!" So I was delighted when they started to play together in the last few weeks. They wrestle on the floor together, they dance together, and they chase each other around the kitchen-entry-formal-living-room-formal-dining room loop while pretending to be coyotes or dinosaurs or some other unnecessarily loud animal. There are almost never problems with these activities, aside from the occassional split lip when we do not enforce the "no running in the house" rule quickly enough.

I realized yesterday after hearing the words "If you guys do not share, I am going to take it away" come from my mouth (for what very likely could have been the thousandth time this week alone) that it is the toys that are evil. When you have two kids of the same gender so close in age, it is not standard practice to buy two of anything because the theory is that it will get handed down. Not the case. There is a mental development overlap that we did not take into account when buying the seventeen sets of GeoTrax for Malakai that Van has now become fascinated with. For the last year we have been telling Malakai to play with his trains, and to show Daddy his new track, and to pick up his trains. Now we are trying to tell him that those same trains are for him and brother. Once I take a luggage car or the beloved bridge track away, it is usually not long before I hear "VEE-ON-EE, THAT'S MINE!" and I am forced to add another toy to the pile. At the end of the day there are GeoTrax trains, duck necklaces, remote controlled Lightning McQeens, and tooth fairy pillows on my kitchen island. Once the kids are in bed we put the toys back in their homes to be fought over the next day. Last night I apparently forgot to remove the coveted train and its four cars from the counter. Malakai walked down for breakfast, spotted it, and very seriously said to Lamar..."Daddy, Mommy not share."

We'll see how it goes today

Baby, don't cry

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 19:23:07 GMT

I am a child of the 80's. It secretly thrills my soul to see my third grader wearing a tunic with leggings. (Don't worry, I will not be hopping on that bandwagon, but it does take me back to the time when that was pretty much all that Express sold.) It is even cool with me that HP used "Pictures of You" by The Cure in their ad campaign a while back... although it does make me feel a little old. But I would have to say that my favorite reminder of the 80's in my own daily life is that my kids think "Baby, Don't Cry" by INXS is a song for kids. Technically it is not from the 80's since it was released in 1992, but that is like saying that Bon Jovi is not still an 80's band. Anyway, I sort of used that song as my anthem while Lamar & I were dating long-distance. Years later, Makenzie came along and we would sing it to her when she was upset. When other toddlers were listening to Barney our kids were rocking out to INXS, Cyndi Lauper ("Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"-1983), Martika ("Toy Soldiers"-1989), and sad to say, even a little NKOTB ("Hangin' Tough"-1989). I did not realize how deep it ran in our household until today while we were driving Nevie home from school. Van was getting upset and Malakai started singing "Baby, Don't Cry" to him. I dug the CD (that is how old school I am!) out of the case in the minivan and skipped to that song. Malakai shouted..."Mom, I love this song so much...it's my favorite!" The four of us were singing at the top of our lungs. Michael Hutchence is probably turning over in his grave.

just for brett

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 23:43:25 GMT

OK, so my friend Brett has been harassing me to start a blog. I keep putting it off until I get some projects done. I give up. I will never be on top of everything I want to be on top of. I am not finished updating our family website, I have not made the bedding for my niece, and I have not sorted through all the kids' clothes for ebay. I have not cleaned out my linen closets, I have not washed the windows in my minivan, and I have not cleaned up my sewing mess.

I joked with Brett that I was going to call my blog "You can't make this stuff up" or "My life could be a reality show" or "Shae's blog...making you feel better about your day". (This last one was when Van decided he was going to be a grafitti artist, using poop as a medium.) I have four kids...two girls and two boys. The oldest is 7 and the youngest is almost 2. I am not sure why people would want to know about my life. To me, it is just my life. But there are some things that I could picture on a sitcom. Like how Giovanni only likes to dance when the Fallout Boy cover shows up on media center (and I have to ask to see his "sweet moves"). Or like how Malakai will not flush the toilet after he poops until I come look at it. Or how Makenzie still says "scissors like it starts with a "z".

Hmmm...maybe this blogging thing could be fun...I promise to try to mention poop less. But only if there is less of it in my life!