Alpha Mom: life

NEVIE, THERE IS NO BEAR IN OUR YARD

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 02:51:34 GMT

Except that there is! Or there was.

Nevie and her friend Sabrina were eating popsicles under the tree in the yard. And then UP WALKS A BEAR. No punchline, that's it. And here he is. Or she. I did not stop to ask about its personal life.

I did not believe her when she came in, even though she was crying. When I saw for myself, I immediately grabbed the camera because I thought no one would believe me otherwise. This was the only one not blurry from my shaking hands.

I gotta get out of this town...

ACCIDENTAL ENVIRONMENTALISM

Thu, 22 May 2008 05:25:07 GMT

Last week I had to hit the grocery store for milk. After school drop-off. Before school pick-up. Before swim lessons. Crap...I am buying milk before swim lessons. I am more than slightly paranoid about my food spoiling. My biggest fears come with things like chicken and mayonnaise. But milk...how long can it sit in a car on a cloudy 75 degree day?

So I had a great idea...I would ask for paper, then when I got it to my car, I could crumple the top down and it would be like a little cooler and I could let my mind obsess about other things while I watched two of my kids learn to swim, and the other one yell at the teacher. (But that is a blog for a different day.)

Turns out when you ask for paper bags instead of the evil polar bear-killing plastic bags, you are not supposed to want all your stuff actually bagged. The checker at Top asked me if I wanted a bag for my cereal. Granted, they were the big honkin' store brand bags of cereal, but still. Like I am supposed to just grab an armful of canned goods and bananas and toss it in the back of the van. I totally wimped out and was all...Uh, no, I don't need a bag for those. I would not want to KILL THE EARTH BY BAGGING MY GROCERIES. And then I saw the milk heading down the conveyor belt. Oh crap! They are so not gonna want to bag that for me. I considered letting them talk me out of a bag for the milk. I could always take some stuff out of a bag when I got to the car and then put my milk in that bag. That would be inconvenient but do-able. Then I thought...

Screw the earth. I gotta keep my milk cold.

I MAY CHANGE MY LAST NAME TO WHIRLPOOL

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 03:04:42 GMT

That is how much I love my new washer and dryer!!!! I had no idea how much time I was wasting on laundry until I got them. I have not had to wait for my clothes to dry when the washer is already done. I have not had to check to see if the clothes in the dryer were all the way dry. I have not had to restart the dryer to finish them up. I have been able to cram two loads worth into one load. I have not had to decide if I am doing a small, medium, or extra large load. I even sanitized my sheets! Plus, when I think no one is watching, it provides a little entertainment!

BUSTED!

APRIL 5, 2008 - THE DAY MY LIFE WILL CHANGE FOREVER!

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:54:37 GMT

A family of six can generate a lot of laundry. Not just the clothing, which includes at a minimum a pair of pants, a shirt, a pair of socks, underwear, and jammies. Per person. Per day. Add to that the wardrobe changes my 4 year old makes, which I am never fast enough to catch him doing. And I swear it is impossible for my girls to wear a hoodie without getting the sleeves all gross. My friends will all tell you I am a laundry fanatic as it is. I want it to smell like fabric softener, and have not one tiny stain on it. I have been known to wash a piece of clothing repeatedly until the stain is gone. Even in "play clothes". Then there are the linens that go along with the house. Towels X 6, sheets X 6, and I only like to use a dish towel and dish rag once. We are nowhere near the Duggars, or even the Gosselins. But I do feel like I spend a lot of time dealing with laundry.
Lamar bought me the biggest capacity washer and dryer that Whirlpool makes. He is a good man. I never imagined that I would get so excited about a major home appliance, but here I am, memorizing the brochure, imagining what I can do with all the time I am going to save, counting down the days until delivery...I need to get out more. Maybe I will have time once I get my new babies...

DO YOU THINK THIS IS A PAINTING OF HIS MOM?

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 16:10:30 GMT

...because this was me last night. Right down to the bald head from pulling out my hair.
I'm just sayin'...

IS IT BAD THAT I HAD TO GOOGLE "MEME"?

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 01:09:57 GMT

My friend Kim tagged me. I am a total newbie to blogging, so I had search the interwebs to find out what to do next. As far as I can tell, I think it is like "Coffee Talk"...she gives me a topic and I discuss. The assignment is to “blog about five things in my life that I never dreamed, when I was 25, would be in my life now." So here it goes...please don't make fun of me.

1. Four kids and lovin' it - When I was 25, I was pregnant with Kenz. Little did I know how that would change my life! I tell anyone who will listen that "kids will totally wreck your life." They always think I am joking, and I mostly am, but they really sorta do. Funny thing is, the life I had before them is not nearly as fulfilling as my life now. I joke a lot about it, but - truth be told - I love being a mom to my four little crazies.

2. Here I am, still in Seattle - When we got married, Lamar was still going to UW. I always just assumed that there would be a job for him in San Diego and we could move back home. He was working for Microsoft even back then, but I at least held out some hope that we would get back to SoCal someday. I have all but given up on that.

3. The infamous ghetto Chryser - I was driving a lifted Toyota 4Runner. Sweet, I know! Now I drive the ultimate mom car. As much as I love it now, I guarantee you that I said I would never drive a minivan...and probably when I was 25. I am still sometimes surprised when I get out of it and see what I was driving!

4. A laptop in my kitchen - Lamar actually told me this would happen. But I told him no way. I use it to check my email non-stop, catch up on the Britney gossip, blog, IM with my friends, and stalk people I do not know on MySpace. And occasionally I pull a recipe off Allrecipes, too.

5. The pressure is off - I feel like turning 30 was a nice transition in my life. When I was 25, I thought 30 would hurt to hit. Turns out, I care less what people think about me, I am happier with my physical self, I am capable of more than I thought I was, and I feel less like I have to measure up to some imagined set of standards. I have the best marriage I could want, four kids that I adore, a wonderful bunch of real, bail-you-out-of-jail kind of friends, a great little church family...what more could a girl want???

There it is...not much of a revelation, no big surprises, nothing scandalous. Too bad I do not have five blogger friends to tag! Brett, have you been tagged by Kim already? Robert, looks like you are it, my friend!

LIFE IS A HIGHWAY? MORE LIKE A TREADMILL!

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 00:35:39 GMT

How can every day be so much the same and so completely new at the same time? There are a lot of things I do every day...like cook meals and wash faces and fold clothes. And there are things that I do nearly every day...like vacuum the floors and clean the powder room and carpool. That does not even include the things that I must do every day...change diapers and take out the trash and do the dishes...or that I want to do every day...blog, sew, finish a cup of coffee before it gets cold! Some days my life feels like Groundhog Day. The only thing that makes the script different from day to day is that the kids like to mess with me and throw me a curve ball just when I think I know what to expect. One day they will only eat chicken nuggets, the next they have never hated chicken nuggets more. "I love macaroni and cheese...I mean I hate it!" I swear they do it on purpose!

I feel like I have to keep a pretty brisk pace just to hold my ground. Because if I don't, the treadmill of life is just waiting to fling me off and make me look like a fool!

I MISS MY BOY...

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 05:17:26 GMT

Lamar is in China right now for work. I miss him terribly. Not just because he brings in the mail and takes out the trash and gives the boys their baths and prays with the kids before bed and checks on them every night before we go to bed ourselves. He is a really great dad...an even better dad than I am a mom in my opinion. I miss my kids' dad, but more than that I miss my best friend. It is a weird feeling to have another grown up in the house for twelve years and then to be suddenly outnumbered four to one! My mom came to visit for a couple days and that took some of the heat off of me. She took us out to dinner every night and bought me a caramel macchiato every day. That was great. Unfortunately,

that did nothing to warm up the cold spot on the other side of the bed, or to make sure the garage door is closed or to bring me my Invisalign trays when I leave them downstairs by the sink. All that and I have no one to watch Ninja Warrior with me...

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 05:28:36 GMT

So I went to dinner with eight friends the other night. We had an 8 o'clock reservation. I got a couple remarks about how that was so late for dinner, and how it would be hard to sleep after eating that late, and wah, wah, wah. The median age was probably around 32. If you had listened in on our conversation, you would have thought it was closer to 62. There was talk of fiber and regularity and gall bladders...craziness! We were like 5 minutes from comparing medications and swapping eyeglasses to compare prescriptions. I am getting old. And I do not like it. Not one bit.

I hate toy commercials

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 19:19:38 GMT

I feel crappy today. It is just a cold. A head-exploding, throat-scratching, snot-producing, energy-zapping cold. But all the beds are made and dishes are done, so I am down for the rest of the day. I am also watching (and I use that term loosely) my friend's daughter today.

Normally I try to discourage TV as much as possible. Mostly so that other moms won't judge me, not because I am particularly afraid of the long term effects. Today it is a catroon-palooza. I am on the sofa with the laptop trying not to let these shows push me over the edge. The shows themselves are not so bad. I have my issues with some, like Max & Ruby. It is a brother and sister bunny. Sometimes the Grandma is in it, but mostly the big sister Ruby is always watching her little brother Max. From the way Max talks and acts, he is like two years old. Who would leave their two year old with their big sister all day? And where is their mom? Plus, Brett pointed out that they move in practically slow motion, now I am fixated on that! Thanks a lot.

As if the shows aren't bad enough, there are so many freaking commercials! My kids turn all greedy and say "I NEED THAT!" And it is not even good stuff. They think...If only I had that Lionel Train Bank then I would have a lot more money! Plus, you can "practically see the train drive by!!!"

"I could feed our whole family if you would just buy me that Rocket Fishing Rod!"

My personal favorite is Moon Sand. Nevie has been telling me how it never dries out and you can mold it
into ANY SHAPE YOU WANT!

My mom and dad bought some for Nevie on their recent visit. Dad tried to help her and the "fun" lasted exactly 4 and a half minutes. To quote my dad, "it would be less messy to let her play with a bottle of maple syrup." There...you have all been warned!

One year for Mother's Day Makenzie insisted Lamar get me a fondue pot. She told him, "Dessert will never be boring again!!!" She was more than a little disappointed when no one fell into hysterical fits of pleasure while using it.

Hmmmm...maybe I should be a little more concerned with the long term effects....

Never say never

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 18:33:42 GMT

When I was in my early twenties with no kids I declared..."I will never drive a minivan." Fast forward to my mid twenties. Trying to get the infant carrier out of the middle back seat of my sweet, lifted 4Runner was going to force me to eat those words. After Lamar denied me a Suburban, we went to drive a <gulp> minivan. (As a side note, I am convinced that if they gave that class of vehicle a hipper name, more moms would be willing to drive one. The minivans this generation of moms grew up with conjur up images like this:)

What we saw at the lot was a sea of these:

Not too bad. It was in the days before power doors and DVDs, but the dual sliding doors and the heated seats were enough to pull me in. So, we bought a 1998 Chrysler Town & Country. Pearl white. CD player. Tow package. Leather interior. The only problem with it was that it was a minivan. We bought it barely used, so we were still under warranty, and the only thing that had to be fixed was the cupholder, which they happily replaced free of charge.

Lamar tried to get me to buy a Honda Odyssey. But those looked to me at the time like the bastard child of a minivan and a station wagon. Those are my two least favorite looks.

When the Chrysler reached the limit on its warranty, I realized that I should maybe not have rejected the Odyssey so quickly. My van still looks pretty good. It has a couple door dings, and some artwork on the headliner from one of the kids. Oh and there is the work of abstract art in the back where the heater melted some crayons into the carpet. The best part is that the "s" has fallen off the back, so we now call it "The Chryser." The problem is that there are no simple oil changes on this van. Whenever it goes in for service we know that it is going to be mroe than just an oil change. We have gotten to the point where when we hear a noise we say..."Sounds like about $400, right?" We rationalize it by thinking that it is cheaper than a car payment. The plan is to drive it until it will not go and then get a new mom car.

The other day I was on my way to pick up the kids from school and a lady pulled up next to me and rolled down her window. Never good news when someone does that. She said "I just thought you would like to know that both your brake lights are out." So nice of her. I called Lamar and said...better stop and get some bulbs on your way home. So he came home and figured out that is was not the bulbs. Or a fuse. Oh, and on his way in he saw that one headlight was out. Awesome. Lamar exchanged the brake bulbs for a headlight the next day and as of last night I have two headlights. But still no brake lights.

So my van is in the shop today. Good news..."Only $150 to fix the brake lights? It is a Christmas mirac...oh, there is an oil leak? And the spark plugs need to be replaced?" That Toyota Sienna is looking better every day...